The New Face of Infidelity

Dr. Peggy Drexler


Research shows women may be cheating now almost as much as men. What are the tolls of new temptations?

Some 60 years ago, Alfred Kinsey delivered a shock to mid century sexual sensibilities when he reported that at some point in their marriages, half of the men and a quarter of the women in the U.S. had an extramarital affair. No one puts much stock in Dr. Kinsey's high numbers any more -- his sampling methods suffered from a raging case of selection bias -- but his results fit the long-standing assumption that men are much more likely to cheat than women.

Transparency or Wisdom in Marriage?

I go back and forth between thinking that my spouse and I need to communicate and be completely transparent with each other so that our trust level and relationship can grow vs. thinking that I need to be wise and hide some things from him because if he really knew all about me then he would feel too safe, would get bored and will go find his adventure somewhere else. I’m still not sure which one is the right answer, but I do know that when you hide things, it gives Satan a foothold. It allows him to come in and whisper lies in your ear like, “he doesn’t really love you and he never did” or “you are completely worthless and your husband knows it, so you need to pretend”. I’ve always went with transparency in the past and it hasn’t served me too well, but with this different way I find myself wanting to sin more and slowly wanting to distance myself from him, I don’t think it is good either. Maybe I’ll just go with transparency and hope that he chooses me despite his boredom….or is that stupid? Still don’t know.