This isn’t what I asked for, thank you. I want my old life back.
The one where my parents were the perfect couple. Where I was the only one among my friends whose parents were still together. And seemingly still in love.
The one where I was voted most likely to succeed and everyone, right or wrong, envied my life because it seemed so perfect. And I believed it was.
I want to go back to the times when I knew You were involved in my life. The ones where I prayed and You answered. I talked to You, and You listened. The times when I knew You were alive. Loving. And on my side.
I want the life where all I had to do was show up for class, and I got good grades. Name a job opening, and I landed it squarely. Speak my needs, and my husband moved heaven and earth to meet them.
I know a young couple who went through a really traumatic marriage tragedy. They were even Christians, active in church and the work of the ministry. But the devil began to attack their marriage. The husband became discouraged and drifted into sin. He slipped into worldly practices. One thing led to another. Finally, he got involved in adultery. He left home. In spite of his actions, his wife didn't want a divorce.
But he divorced her anyway. So this wife thought, "Well, I'll just go on with my life. I'll try to be happy. I'll do something for God." She was thinking about going to Bible school, traveling and doing things for the Lord. And God saw her heart.
She thought it was too late - it was all over. The devil told her there was nothing in God's Word that pertained to her situation. She didn't know where there was healing for her marriage - wrecked by divorce.
It's that time of the year again! People are preparing for festive holiday dinners and get-togethers. The Thanksgiving holiday seems to kick off the chain of seasonal events! The children are busy making out their Christmas lists, the malls are gradually becoming more crowded, decisions are being made about where to spend the holidays, and the bank account is swiftly decreasing.
During all this hussle and bussle, it is very easy to get stressed out, depressed, bombarded, and most of all—sidetracked!
When I say sidetracked, I'm referring to your personal time with God. Most of us are guilty of getting so caught up in our Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday planning that our quality time with God takes a back seat for a while. "There's just not enough time in a day!"
Back when I was in college, there were rules for the female students. We had to wear skirts to meals. Curfew was strict, broken under threat of expulsion -- or worse. Naturally, boys were not allowed into our rooms. These maxims were designed to "protect" us women -- we who were so easily taken advantage of, so at risk of being romantically duped -- not to mention reinforce the idea that we were expected to act in a certain way.
Which was fine. In those days, many girls, and their parents, thought of college as a means to a husband. (So many of my contemporaries who achieved that end are now divorced, some more than once.) Now, although finding a mate at college is still common -- and there are certainly Ivy League graduates who decide to make their lives as mothers and homemakers -- it's no longer what secondary education is about. Away at college, young people live in dorms in which male and female students share common areas, bathrooms, and even, at times, sleeping rooms. Sex is not necessarily part of the equation. And when it is? Well, we are, after all, talking about adults. But the bigger shift is one of perception: If there is any sort of expectation of "propriety," it is imposed on the guys as much as on the girls.
by Dr. Peggy Drexler After 10 years of marriage and with two children under the age of 6, Sarah and Josh were getting a divorce. The reason: Josh had been having an on-and-off affair with Rae, a longtime friend and colleague, for nearly a year. Sarah, suspecting something was up but not sure what, had finally resorted to checking Josh's email, where her fears were confirmed. She threw him out that night.
Most of their friends were shocked. This, they thought, was so unlike Josh, who'd always presented himself as a thoughtful husband, conscientious boss, and devoted father. He was never cavalier about his friendships, nor was he especially careless or cruel. And yet it was revealed that only months earlier, he'd invited Rae to the holiday party he and Sarah threw in their home, something that in retrospect made most of their friends' stomachs turn--on behalf of Sarah, yes, but also themselves.
Research shows women may be cheating now almost as much as men. What are the tolls of new temptations?
Some 60 years ago, Alfred Kinsey delivered a shock to mid century sexual sensibilities when he reported that at some point in their marriages, half of the men and a quarter of the women in the U.S. had an extramarital affair. No one puts much stock in Dr. Kinsey's high numbers any more -- his sampling methods suffered from a raging case of selection bias -- but his results fit the long-standing assumption that men are much more likely to cheat than women.
I don’t know if you are a Christian, so I don’t think you will understand my perspective, but I thought you might appreciate it anyway because I know you are lost and hurting and you have a big decision to make and your mind is overwhelmed from shock and denial now. Let me just say, that you don’t have to make a decision at all right away, this is huge and it will effect so many people, you have the right to take as long as you want to make this decision, there is no rush, you can even take a year or two to make it if you want. For now, I advise you to wait and don’t decide. The main reason I’m saying that is because your brain is not working correctly, it is under a lot of stress, grief and shock and that is not the best situation to make a decision like divorce.
